Not alone in this fight

Judith -

Hi everyone, I had two visitors today. First Terry and Malley came. It was so beautiful. We had a nice laugh. They told lots of jokes which got me through the day. He was such a nice laugh. Bafore I saw them I was so nervous but then when they came I felt so much better. Then Chiara came to see me. It was a really pleasant visit. We sat for one and half hours just talking. I was apprehensive about things but seeing everyone makes me feel like I am not alone in this fight. It's horrible waiting and not knowing. Mariah is okay. Equally as nervous. That is to be expected though. We are praying we don't need to make the trip to the airport. Hopefully they won't come and get me. Tell everyone to pray. I don't want to be handcuffed!

Thanks everyone for your support

Sleepless nights

Judith -

I woke up at 4.00 am this morning. You just can't sleep can you. You just can't sleep. I watched the Discovery channel until 2.00 am then had two hours sleep. I tried to sleep but just couldn't because I'm thinking about things so much. Then you wake up and you're tired. I didn't put the lights on because I didn't want to wake Mariah up. I received a call about 8.30am. Someone phoning to ask questions. I left the phone feeling so tired, like my head was going to explode. I've been pretty down most of the day, sulking! I don't want to go what Mariah went through. I have been to the airport so many times now.

I want to say hi to everyone. We can never thank you enough. There is always new people joining the campaign. We are so thankful

Back together

Sunday 26th March

Mariah-

I just stayed in bed all day today. I got up, had a shower and went to have dinner at 6.00 o’clock. I have been writing. Documenting what has happened from Saturday to date. How I felt about everything and how everything has transpired. On Friday Judith and I got put back in the same room. It was brilliant. I had to get permission to go back to the room. On Thursday night I was having palpitations. My blood pressure went sky high. It was 156/106. I had a temperature and I was gasping for breath. That was Thursday. The nurse came in the morning and took my blood pressure. Judith was upstairs and I was on the lower floor. In the morning permission was granted. It is a great feeling to be back with her. I was worried about her, she was worried about me.

God Bless you all!!!

Testimony

hi people, hope you’re all doing great. We had a lovely day today; David and Chiara came to visit and the day went quickly which is a good thing in this place. We’ve also been discharged. We don’t know when we’ll be released; they never tell you things like that. They just keep telling you they’ll remove you, but you’ve got to keep your hopes high. I managed to give my testimony and everyone had their jaws opened; there’s no doubt it was encouraging for everyone. I saw Judith today. We’re not in the same room, which I don’t understand because the extra bed in her room is empty. I feel weak. Thanks for everything and get back to you all soon

head high

hi people, again, how are you and how have you been? i've just been filled in on the progress and, you know what, you dont know what you have done to my heart. it was, like, an instant cure to my heartbeat! i might manage, maybe, 6 hours sleep tonight. i had 4 hours last night so that is really nice to hear. you never really know cos, you know, you keep tossing and turning in your bed but hopefully i am going to sleep tonight.

i have had a healthy flow of phonecalls today and they were all very nice calls. someone, i won't mention for legal reasons(!), he really steered me today to the right direction and i finally remembered what myself and Mariah have always said- we never want to give people satisfaction, especially if they are doing things to hurt us and today after the phone call I held my head high and said 'i am not going to let this drag me down. i put my foot down, i am going to do my best to be me again. i am going to go through this with my head high.' i really feel positive tonight, especially after the news. thanks , for agreeing to take on responsibilities for the 30th, but i pray we will not have to go down that route. i would like to think mariah paid the price for me on saturday and hopefully i won't have to.

well, thanks to everyone who attended the meeting, thanks to everyone who contributed anyting or has contacted people and thanks to everyone who has agreed to join our cause. we will probably never say enough thanks because thanks is a very short word, very short. you are all really busy, but you spare the time. this is kindness we have not seen in a very very long time. have a nice day and i'll keep you posted. oh! ps- Terry and Mali and Stuart are coming to see us tommorow, and they have apparently said that if we don't see each other tommorow we will see each other in the visiting room, so it will be nice to see Mariah tommorow after all these days, i don't know how many, but it has been a very long time to me. i'll speak to you tommorow again, have a nice day and god bless. judith.

Judith

Hi people, how are you doing today? Well, I am ok, not too bad, although Monday was really very long. I kept looking through the window, waiting for Mariah to come through but she never did. She’s been told to fill in a form so that she can come and visit. Its true you know! But it takes nearly 24 hours so… fingers crossed. Oh my god, today is really lousy, so I don’t know what to say, I just put it down. More than before… I don’t know, maybe it was depressing to see Mariah’s bed empty, and then always this other question, ‘oh where’s my sister?!’ So its better to sit in my room and lock the door and draw the curtains. I couldn’t sleep though, I couldn’t do much and I was just sitting in a dark room, thinking and weeping.

Well, I have watched Eastenders today, that’s the only thing I have watched on telly today, it’s the only thing I have done with my brain and my eyes, you know. I have answered a few phone calls today… I don’t know what has happened to all my callers: come on guys, keep it going! I’m joking. But I am really grateful for all these calls.

And… today just went by basically. Oh! I had contact with some officer, I don’t want to name and shame him really, its not worth it. I received 4 letters today in the post. And he faxed me literally to open them in front of them, and he had to check of there was anything in them. I receive letters every day but no-one usually asks me to open them right in front of me, but he was so insistent, and he nearly tried my patience beyond the limit. Well, I managed to keep calm and I asked him to read the letters because he seemed to have a keen interest! But anyway, I got over it and it was nice mail from people all over. Thanks people for keeping in touch!

And that was it really for today. My PA has just told me about the Tham Sarke campaign who have joined hands with our campaign, and I just can’t say thanks enough to the lady who is heading it. I just can’t say enough thank you for speaking up on our behalf, and we pray that maybe your voice wil be heard this time. We are here but we haven’t yet lost hope because you guys are keeping us going. You are inspiring us even when we feel like we can’t go any further,. We know definitely something good must come out of this all your efforts are not going to be in vein., and,… I still think I am going to see each one of you soon, and there will be an autograph signing session soon. I’ll keep you posted and don’t miss out, have yourselves and nice day and god bless. Judith

Mariah back in Yarls Wood

Hi people. A HUGE thank you to you all for all your support, I have just come to Yarl’s Wood from Colnsbrook and at least I can now breath. It was HELL. I can’t bring myself to talk about some of the things that happened. They put me on watch and stuff, they knew what they were doing. It’s a shame, but I haven’t been put in the same wing as Judith. I don’t know why that is, but I am sure the person who checked me knows that Judith is here. Wonder when I am going to see her. There are 10 doors between us. I am trying to recover from the experience at the airport. My wrists still hurt from the handcuffs. They were tight and sharp. They seemed like the type you use for hardcore criminals. My wrists are still swollen. I hope they heal soon. My body hurts everywhere. It was awful to be lifted from the van onto the plane (literally) by two huge and tall men, not that I tried to resist or anything, I don’t know why they did that. I get palpitations every now and then. And…yeah, you know, when I got off the plane everyone applauded! Was cool.

I just want to see Judith, basically.

Love you all, bless you all, see you soon. Love Mariah.

Day after Mariah's stopped deportation.

Hi people, me again. Just to let you know, well, there is a ray of hope, how strong I don’t know but there is hope. Thanks to all of you guys who went to the airport, all the leaflets and whatever you did, oh I can’t thank you enough. Well, thanks to Henry for all the hard work. I’m sure all the efforts of you guys has not been in vein. It gives us all something to smile about at the end of the day. It was a very nice shout I heard in the background on bens phone. That was priceless. I just can’t tell you how relieved I was, thanks to terry also, who was constantly on the phone, who broke the first good news to me. Oh I just can’t thank them enough!. This journey has made me realise there are so very many wonderful people around and I am glad to have known all of you. I will treasure these friendships for maybe the rest of my life. I will always remember your kindness and your support and I just wish I could say I’m as fit as fiddle but I am not. Irrespective of how I am feeling I am so glad to know that Mariah is somewhere safe. Although she is in solitary confinement I’ve got hope to see her in one piece, maybe tomorrow. This has been, like, nerve wracking. I think I could have exchanged my heart for someone else’s because I thought at a point mine was going to fail. I didn’t know what to do. I simply turned to the wall and prayed to god and hoped and hoped. There was this nasty officer who kept, you know) he’s bustling by at the moment!) who wanted to come and pick a fight with both of us, but again, silence is golden. He lost and we won. Oh! This journey has taught me lots of things, one of them is just to be silent when you need to, and you come out a winner. Another thing is that although we read so much negative stuff about asylum seekers, there are so very many people caring and are so very upset about how we are being treated. I have no doubt we have touched many people’s hearts, but their voices are not yet heard. We know at a point they will be listened to, and I just can’t pray enough that it will be soon, because mentally I am losing it now. I tend to forgot things quick. I tend to feel, like, tired all the time and eating which gives you strength is not on my list right now. I think maybe I am also nervous about Mariah, I am hoping she is safe, I just want to see her. I want to keep an eye on her but I can’t when she is so far away, so all these things are crippling me. However I just can’t thank you enough. You just feel like what you have done is very big, and thanks is such a short word. May the good lord bless you all. I’ll see you soon not speak but see. Keep smiling and hold your heads high because you did something yesterday that saved someone’s life. I’ll always be grateful. Judith.

17th March 2006

hi people, thanks a bunch for attending the gig; i was told it was such a hit. Due to public demand there will be another one when we get out soon. I didnàt abandon you yesterday even though I didnàt write, our PA was out and about organising the gig. Can you give him a round of applause. So back to business, this was the most difficult day so far. I didnàt sleep at all the previous night. I couldnàt sleep in the day. I was so restless, waiting to hear from either the mp or the solicitor with that reassuring news, but there was none. My solicitor was, however, in touch all day but was equally waiting to here from the home office solicitors. It could have been easier today to squeeze water out of a rock than to send and receive a 3 page fax from this place. It tried my patience and I nearly snapped. But thank god we have been receiving a healthy flow of letters and cards. We are touched by peopleàs kindness. We hope to reply to all of them when we graduate from the university of life (yarls wood=)) I canàt believe I am laughing right now, I never thought it would have been possible, but a visit from chiara and some calls really made my day. I just canàt thank every one of you enough for the leg work, the hand work, the mental work, the financial work. We just can't say enough thanks to you guys. I think you guys are a bunch of people who are going to make the world a better place and we are proud of all you guys although we havne't seen each other physically, we know that you are what the world needs today. Thanks to our tutors at college and the students who attended the gig aswell. Keep it up kash and the rest of the cru!

Oh, I forgot to say- yesterday, there was a kind of fracas on the other wing. Some lady tried to commit suicide during lunchtime. It was kind of, you know, 'oh my god, this is the fifth attempt since the weekend' so I started wondering when the first actual fatality will be. I am sure all this can be stopped. Please keep your voices up for people like us in here. Thank you so much and we are always so grateful to you guys. Have yourself a nice weekend.

Mariah says hello but because we donàt have an answer tonight it is all a bit stressful, like a guillitine, so she isn't speaking.  but she is also so grateful for everything. God bless you. 

Our day

Hi people, it's mariah. I hope you are all doing great. we are hanging in here, strenghtned by your support. today was- i just wanted the day to pass quickly. You know when you want a day to just go, but we are still drawing strength from david and brian's visit yesterday, they have strengthened us. we had a good laugh. it feel so great today that one of our friends has been released after 18 months!! Prior to her release she locked herself up in the room; she didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone and i know where she is coming from. i do identify with her because it happens to me sometimes. I wake up and don't want to see natural sunlight; i don't want to draw the curtains, do you get me? I don't want to see and talk to anyone and sometimes it is difficult to take my calls, but thanks to my sister sometimes she will do it for me.i can't exactly tell why i feel like that. when i look up you see where yo u fit in the world, and when you look up on days like that i just feel like crying, wondering when all this is gonna end. yeah.

Hooray in one way and woooo... on the other. 18 months is just out of order. We are hopeing for the best, that's all that is keeping us going. it's great to talk to ben this evening- wish you all the best. Love Mariah.

Hi, this is Judith, its nice you guys are still planning and are going to the gig tommorow, just can't say enough thanks. We know you are all so busy with this and that but please find some spare time to go and party hard tommorow. THings like that keep us going. We know we are not alone in this, we know that you are doing all you can to support your cause. I can't mention names right now, because there are so very many of you, mariah cracked a joke and said it might be half of england. we will forever be grateful to you guys. yesterday we had a bad joke about the food; we said we both had to go the bathroom and throw up after because the food looked like sick. But, like Eric said 'silence is golden', we couldnt agree more! I'll speak to you soon, have a nice time, take care of yourselves for us, Judith.

My last week

HI people, this is mariah, nice to know that you are out there supporting us and we are grateful. my week has been up and down- good days and bad days- we've had a few visits and lots of phone calls and that has kept us on our feet. Anna brought us some presents and we were blown away.

We had a room search this morning- the second apparent 'random' room search in two weeks- we were still in bed and sleeping when they came to do it, so that wasn't very nice- a rude awakening! I feel a bit weak, because i'm not eating properly, but i hope i get there. wish you all well and bless you.
Love Mariah.

A little bit of hope in this dark journey

Well hi, this is judith again. Just trying to, you know, take each day at a time. I've had a good and bad weekend, good in the sense that i have been to speak to someone who was trying to commit suicide and i've shared with her that there is hope beyond this world and helped her by giving her a cup of tea which she hasn't had for three days and she has promised me that she was going to have breakfast this morning, which she did. well we have talked alot since last night, a good few hours, and i gave her simple but practical help. i've asked her to shout jesus if she has to- that's what i say to her. i told her to come and get me if she needs to from my room, or send to me. i've also told her how many times we have been in and out of here; i've told her just to hold on, to think of her son at the moment instead of thinking too much about the future. find something to life instead of thinking 'oh my god i've failed'. she also said to me that her confidence is all gone, but i say to her hang on because deciding not to commit suicide when you have made the decision to is something brave, if i can do something and you make up your mind then decide not to it takes a bit of being brave, and i had to find a way of saying that. then i moved her away from that kind of topic, and we started talking about politics and life in general and she started smiling and laughing, which was unusual, and eventually she say to me that she had found the talk very helpful, and it showed her there was a bit of hope, but she said she wouldn't promise. then i said to her that it was ok for her to feel what she was feeling because it takes a bit of time to rebuild herself to what she was.

i had many calls yesterday, which was good. lots of friends called- church called early in the morning, then terry and his friend- who else? i remember many calls came in... mali spoke iwth mariah and henry called later on. so we were kept busy and felt treasured and loved and had something to concentrate on that wasn't the world. it was good and bad but there is hope.

I also got two calls from john o. so today, monday, not bad. we have just changed our sheets to clean ones and recieved acupuncture for stress relief. they say it helps you relax, so we have to keep this needle above our ears for 3 days, and massage it every so often. yesterday john o sent us a fax quite early, and i went in and out to get it but i couldn't- i just recieved it now. each time we went they told us there was no fax waiting for us. they always do that. normally they say that in a court of law that witholding information is a criminal offence...


Thank you for visiting the site (and thanks to the person who posted a comment- it was very kind and i will see that person soon) and have a good day, speak to you tommorow or before.
Judith.

13th March 2006

Hi this is Judith. We are so grateful to soas and every one of you who have been speaking up on our behalf. We have had such a week- it’s been really very mixed, more down than up. Well at the moment I just don’t have time to feel sorry for myself; I have to be up for Mariah. So is so very down lately, asking me questions which I can’t answer at the moment. She’s asking me why, in our short lives, we have gone through so much of this; it’s equivalent to something some people go through in their lifetime, not in 2 years. We have been in detention for 7 months in the last 2 years. She just can’t bring herself eat, she is still crying and she just feels really tired. Yesterday she told me something strange, she was feeling a strange pain around her heart and she said when she stretched she felt like something might break. maybe that’s how people get heart attacks, but I didn’t want to think about it. But she said that can’t be right because she is only twenty. But it’s things like that that really worry you. We just hope that things will be ok. We received two calls today from , which is a great help. You get to hear about what is happening outside and it gives you the strength to carry on, to be honest. It makes you feel loved and treasured, irrespective of being here. We just can’t thank every one of you enough for everything you are doing to support our cause. Thank you so much.